NEW-AGER HITS HEAD, LOSES CHRIST-CONSCIOUSNESSFrom: http://www.sacredsandwich.com/frontpage.htm

APRIL 2008 --- The last thing Gladys Pittman remembers is getting up from the couch after watching Oprah, tripping on her yoga meditation rug, and falling to the floor. After that, everything is a blur. But Gladys' husband Frank witnessed the whole thing. "As soon as her head hit the floor, she was knocked Christ-unconscious," he explained.According to Frank, for several scary minutes after the accident Gladys began reading the Bible, talking about her sinfulness and her need for a Righteousness outside of herself. "She was speaking all sorts of gibberish," said Frank, fighting back the tears as he remembered the ordeal. "I was afraid she was going to be a Baptist the rest of her life."Within the hour, however, Gladys slowly regained Christ-consciousness as Frank administered incense, low-lighting, and music by Yanni. By evening, she was back to normal and watching public television. "Luckily, PBS was showing a Wayne Dyer special during their fifteenth pledge drive of the year, and the program really seemed to bring Gladys to her original state of enlightenment," said Frank. "Plus, she got a really cool PBS coffee mug with her $50 pledge."Looking back, Frank believes their close call is a lesson for everyone. "If you're going to have a Bible in the house," he warned, "make sure it's in a safe place where little ones or people with head trauma can't reach it." Gladys, on the other hand, is just happy to put the horrifying incident behind her. "My inner divinity got a little boo-boo," she said, rubbing her head, "but I'm all centered now, praise Oprah!"