God Made Me Beat My Wife – by Bob Burney<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
We're sitting in a court room as a defendant pleads his case.  "Mr. Jones, how do you plead to the charge of beating your wife?" the judge intones.   "Well, your honor, to be honest - it's God's fault!"  "Excuse me!  Did you just say it was God's fault that you beat your wife?"  "Yes, your honor.  Absolutely" replies the defendant.  "And just why do you say it is God's fault?"   Now, if this scenario is wacky enough - we continue.  The defendant rises to his feet and lays out his case.  "Your honor, I've beat my wife for a long time just couldn't understand why.  I even go to church and pray occasionally.  Well, I found out that was the problem!"   The judge interrupts, "what is the problem!" growing impatient.  "Going to church and praying.  That's the problem.  God made me beat my wife.  The Archbishop of Canterbury said so!"
Sadly the above scenario is not entertaining - it's instructive.  It's also not far from the bizarre truth.  The Church of England has issued new guidelines for their Bishops and Priests.  The new guidelines have the full support of the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams.   All masculine references to God must stop immediately, because they lead to domestic violence - specifically wife abuse.  The guidelines state that extreme care must be given before referring to God as 'He' or 'Lord'.  They say that "uncritical use of masculine imagery" encourages men to behave violently towards women. 
"Domestic abuse is fundamentally an abuse of power, and many conceptions of God derived from the Bible and the Christian tradition have portrayed divine power in unhealthy and potentially oppressive ways," say the guidelines put together by the Archbishops' Council and the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Church of England Cabinet.   So, you can see how our wife-beating man in the hypothetical scenario could blame God and the Bible for his violent attitude towards his wife. 
What's going on here?   Is this just some wacko feminist that has convinced some Theological Liberals of her zany theories?   If it were only that simple.   It is the continuing struggle of the human heart to throw off the authority of his (or her) creator.  The serpent in the Garden of Eden tried to convince Eve that just because God created her - she didn't have to be in authority to him.  Remember the consequences?  It's all about authority.  The Creature - whether religious or secular - is constantly trying to become the Creator.  The human heart resists violently the authority of God.  This sad episode is just another example.  The difference is that here the Serpent is wearing the robe and carrying the scepter of one of the world's largest Christian denominations.  His tactics have not changed - he's just shed his skin and put on a robe.