Why do I still feel guilty?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
-Eight possible reasons-By Pastor Steve Cornell
You blew it and you know it. You're in the wrong. You've sinned. What should you do? Confess your sins to God. Be honest with God. Come clean. Don't make excuses. Tell God that you know you're wrong, you sinned, and you need his forgiveness. If you do this, scripture promises, "…if we confess our sins, God will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (see: I John 1:9).
But what should you do if, after confessing your sin, you still feel guilty? Why do people struggle with guilt after confessing their sins to God? Why do they have difficultly accepting God's forgiveness? Let me suggest eight possible reasons:
1. Unfinished business
If a clerk at a store gives you too much change and you keep it or you speak hurtful words to someone and walk away; if you were dishonest in a business deal, in each case, feelings of guilt remain because of a need to finish things - to complete the circle of confession and make restitution. The circle of confession should equal the circle of offense (See: Proverbs 28:13).
2. Inability to bring closure
When we've lost contact with the one we hurt or he has passed away, guilt becomes hard to overcome. This is a common struggle for those who choose to get an abortion. They often carry unresolved guilt because of an inability to bring closure. We must remind ourselves that the only thing we can change about the past is how we allow it to affect us in the future. Some have found help in writing a letter of apology and reading it to a trusted counselor.  
3. Unwillingness to accept the possibility of forgiveness
Many feel too wicked to be forgiven. Others can't believe in forgiveness because they don't feel they could forgive someone who did the same thing. Those who nourish an unforgiving spirit toward someone who hurt them in a less severe way, will have difficulty believing in the possibility of being forgiven (see: Matthew 6:14-15).
4. Determination to punish ourselves
Some carry guilt as a payment for sin. But the desire to punish ourselves contradicts the fact that Jesus took our punishment for us (II Corinthians 5:21). It is right to make changes in relation to the wrongs we've done but these changes should not be viewed as payment for our sins (See: Ephesians 2:8-9).
5. Working to deserve forgiveness
Sometimes we feel a need to off-set our sin with good deeds to make ourselves worthy of forgiveness. Sometimes, for example, a woman who gets an abortion will devote herself to crisis pregnancy work as a kind of repayment for her choice. Parents also fall for this trap when looking back with regrets. This is a big trap for one who seeks forgiveness and restoration after having an affair. Though forgiven, he feels he has a mortgage that will never be burned. We must not accept performance-based forgiveness. This insults the grace of God by failing to take the sacrificial death of Christ seriously (see: Galatians 2:21).
6. Struggling with the "What ifs" and "If Onlys"
Some get trapped in guilt when they struggle over the "what ifs" and "If onlys." We all have a list of "what ifs?" and "If onlys".  Some are worse than others but wallowing in them holds us hostage to guilt. This is a choice to live in past regrets and miss the present and future joys of life. It honors God when we do our best to make things right and then move forward in a positive, other-centered direction.
7. Equating forgiveness and reconciliation
When a relationship has been severely damaged, people will struggle with guilt if they think that forgiving requires immediately restoration to their offender. Unprepared to reconcile, they feel they are also unable to forgive. This leads to guilt-especially for those who know God commands forgiveness. Yet it's possible to forgive an offender without being reconciled to him. Unlike forgiveness, reconciliation is often a process that requires rebuilding trust.
8. Consequential reminders
Although God forgives the guilt of our sins, he doesn't promise to remove the consequences. It's common to battle feelings of guilt because of consequential reminders. But God will graciously carry us and comfort us through these painful circumstances.
Guilt is positive when it corrects us; negative when we never move beyond condemnation to forgiveness. Destructive guilt is past-oriented, based on a refusal to receive forgiveness and move forward in freedom. Constructive guilt, when it leads to confession and forgiveness, is grace-based, future-oriented and other-centered.
Unresolved guilt produces turmoil and misery. Forgiveness brings peace and joy. Scripture says, "…if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense-Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world" (I John 2:1-2).  To gain freedom from guilt, we must refuse to hold against ourselves the sin God has forgiven.
 
Steve Cornell
Senior pastor
<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Millersville Bible Church
58 West Frederick Street
Millersville PA. 17551
(717) 872-4260
Blog: http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/