Playing the divine lottery?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
By Steve Cornell
I am the oldest son of eleven children (seven boys). Growing up in a large family, I felt extra responsibility to help with the needs of the home. When I was nine years old, my mother came close to death due to complications at the birth of one of my brothers. All of the children had to be "farmed" out to relatives until mom got well enough to take care of us. This was a very difficult trial but it increased my sense of responsibility.
When I was eleven, my parents became Christians and our home transformed from being basically non-religious to Christ-centered. Shortly after this, my father came down with a severe case of rheumatoid arthritis. This all but devastated our finances and placed a great deal of stress on family life. We lost the home my Dad had built and struggled through years of limited finances. Despite the trying times, my parents' faith in Christ deepened. As for me, I felt an even greater need to help my dad with the family.  
As a twelve year old, I struggled with why God allowed these things to happen to my mom and dad. Being the oldest son, I was more keenly aware of the difficulties and did not have the maturity to handle all of it. Throughout those years, I often prayed for God to intervene with a "BIG" solution to our problems.
My approach to God was something like those who play the lottery ––looking for a "BIG" solution to life. For me, prayer became like a divine lottery. "If only God would intervene and take our trials away." I thought. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more. But the BIG solution never came. And, I learned to realize that sometimes I would get so focused on BIG solutions that I missed the hand of God through many smaller interventions. And we witnessed many of these during the difficulties of life in a large family.
I find that sometimes I am still affected by my experience as a youth. At times, I tend to look at all the challenges, trials and problems of life and ask God for BIG solutions. Although I am typically very optimistic in my outlook on life, my childhood mechanism occasionally pushes me into a dark tunnel where I lose perspective. The only way out of this feeling of despair is to trace the hand of God in the many smaller blessings of life. When I do this, it makes feel badly for failing to notice God's many blessings in my life. But God is kind and merciful when we turn to Him with grateful hearts.
As I matured, I also learned to thank God for the process of my trials because it keeps me dependant upon Him. This is a good place for me to be (see: Deuteronomy 8:1-5).  Although times were hard, I learned invaluable lessons about life and God---lessons I draw upon many times as a spiritual leader.
Have you ever been in the dark tunnel of doubt and discouragement? Do you tend to focus too much on BIG solutions? If so, I encourage you to trace God's many displays of kindness in the smaller blessings of life. If you do this, God will be honored and your joy will be renewed. The small blessings will take on much greater significance and these words of Scripture will become more deeply meaningful: "the Lord's compassions never fail. They are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23).
Ask God to help you live by these commands: "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (I Thessalonians 5:16-18).
See also: http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2007/03/16/recovering-from-despair-a-bible-study-resource/