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10 Strategies for Conquering Anger and Bitternessby Jeff Myers
And that’s a problem. Of course, there is such a thing as righteous anger. But it is all too easy to allow our frustration as Christian activists to turn into deep-seated anger. Why is that a problem? Because anger can quickly turn into bitterness
and sarcasm, destroying our witness and damaging our effectiveness
in the causes we represent. 1. Realize that anger can be deadly. One subscriber pointed out that “Type A” people (goal-driven, orderly, aggressive) are most likely to struggle with anger. More than 80% of people who suffer massive heart attacks are Type A. 2. Recognize what makes us angry. Often a “root of bitterness” grows in response to the callous, controlling behavior of others. Even when violent anger is suppressed, anger still manifests itself through sarcasm, the “silent treatment” or manipulation. 3. Seek reconciliation. Asking forgiveness is humbling, but it frees us from emotional slavery. It can save family relationships too. I can’t tell you how many heartbreaking letters I have received from adults who still feel emotional pain because of a parent who struggled with anger. Sadly, I also received many from teens whose parents are (unwittingly) passing it on to their children. 4. Discover the source of anger. Often anger flares up because of frustration over blocked goals. A friend of mine taught me to identify the source of my frustrations by asking, 1. Is the goal arbitrary? 5. Read up on anger. If you know you struggle with anger, take the time to read one of the many good books out there on the subject. Tim LaHaye and Bob Phillips wrote a book a number of years ago called Anger is a Choice. I think it is still available. If the problem is anger in your children, read Lou Priolo’s book, The Heart of Anger: Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger in Children. 6. Attend a seminar. One subscriber recently attended the “Anger Resolution Seminar” sponsored by the Institute in Basic Life Principles. She thought it was fantastic. Find out more at 7. Give up rights. I realized years ago that I became incensed when I felt my “rights” were being violated. When I give up my “right” to have my issues and candidates win, or to get a full night’s sleep, or to have my plane arrive on time, or to be in smooth traffic, or to be in a short line, I find that my stress level decreases dramatically. 8. Accept blocked goals as God-inspired character-building. Oswald Chambers writes, 'There is no heaven with a little corner of hell in it. God is determined to make you pure and holy and right.... Seen from God's side, it is a glorious ministry of love. God is going to bring you out pure and spotless and undefiled; but He wants you to recognize the disposition you were showing-the disposition of your right to yourself. The moment you are willing that God should alter your disposition, His recreating forces will begin to work.” 9. Choose to be joyful. A wise mentor once told me, “You can’t choose what happens to you but you can choose how you respond.” My anger hurts me more than the person I am angry with. When bitterness becomes rooted in my life, it makes it harder to understand the grace of God (Hebrews 12:15). 10. Prayer and devotional time. There is an old proverb that says, " A day hemmed in prayer surely does not unravel." Prayer and devotion time weaves a spiritual hedge of protection from sin, and develops spiritual stamina so that we can weather the difficult times more easily. Will we still feel anger toward the problems we see in the world today? Of course. But let’s use these ten strategies to balance our response to those issues so that we can be effective kingdom-builders and image-bearers of Christ. Get
Jeff Myers' Secrets of Great Communicators Video HERE |
.When
I see Christianity being shut out of the public square and people
of faith being maligned unfairly, it makes me angry.